Traces of Her -Milou Tjioe , Echoes of motherhood
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TRACES OF HER
At Mmoire, we wanted to offer something special for Mother’s day. Tired of the generic and lifeless marketing push that we are so often presented with, we decided to flip the usual script and tackle this celebration from another perspective, motherhood. The Cambridge dictionary defines motherhood as the state of being a mother, we would like to introduce it to you as a journey.
To celebrate mothers, we created our newest series, traces of her, an ode to all mothers, without judgment. Traces of her consisted of three simple steps. First of all a creative kit, sent to all participants, inviting them to put pen to paper with a drawing, a poem or a reflection to reflect on motherhood and their own journey. Secondly an at home photoshoot by the talented Frederike Schut bringing to life all the emotions shared. And lastly, an honest interview, understanding their experience as mothers, we start with Milou.
FROM EAST NETHERLANDS TO AMSTERDAM ZUID
Milou Tjioe’s story began in a garden in the east of the netherland, then flourished in Amsterdam Zuid, found sparks over darts and cocktails, and is now unfolding into the greatest surprise of all, motherhood.
Milou swapped the wide-open skies of her childhood town in eastern Netherlands for the intimate corners of her Zuid apartment.
"I came here to work as a freelance creative, mostly photography, styling, content creation...a bit of everything.” she smiles
Eight years in, Milou’s portfolio reads like a dream, offering us this effortless cool vibe we all secretly strive for.
Growing up, her family constellation was simple, a younger brother, and two doting parents who, like many Indonesian families, maintain a gentle hierarchy. When I asked about her mother, Milou paused.
“She’s really sweet, always doing everything for me,” she says, careful. “We don’t share everything, you know. I think that’s normal.”
It’s less confession than nuance, two hearts bonded by blood and blossoms, each leaving room to grow.
FINDING MARCOS
Trading open fields for Amsterdam’s canal-ring, Milou planted herself in Zuid. After past relationship misstep, Milou met Marcos, in the most surprising way. A valentine speed date in an Amsterdam coffeeshop. Of course, Milou felt reluctant to go at first, but thankfully, her friend insisted.
“The speed dating were five minutes each round, and during the break, he came up to me, and he was like, Do you want to have drinks tonight? (...) Then immediately after that, we went to a brown cafe in the pijp somewhere and played darts, had some cocktails afterwards, he was so funny, we immediately clicked".
A year into their story, a pleasant surprise, they were expecting.
"This was a surprise. It just came. All of a sudden I was like, oh shit, I'm pregnant. It just happened, but its so cool!"
ROAD TO MOTHERHOOD
Milou laughs, recalling that moment of shock. The beginning showed challenge, as it usually does,
“At the beginning, I was not feeling well, like I was almost depressed, I was nauseous all the time. I needed to lie in bed. (...)Very scared of course, because I didn't know what I was embarking on.(...) But now I am feeling confident, I have been reading, taking tips from other friends who have kids. I think it's also good, it develops, when she's there, I will have to be ready.”
“I immediately knew it was a girl, I just had this instinct.”
Furthermore, Marcos is an adopted child
for him, it's an extra layer of having his own family, because nobody is like him, so it's extra special in that way, he will be able to really see something of him and love being able to give him this gift"
SCENT IN MOTHERHOOD
Pregnancy reshaped Milou’s sense of scent. Her favorite ingredients used to be woody, mossy tones with floral base, she says she used to enjoy playing around with layering and combining different perfumes. However, as we all know pregnancy alters your brain chemistry and your sense of smell shifts. Now she is more drawn towards natural scents, the scents she used to love, feel too strong, heavy on the nose. Her favorites now include rosy, flowery, citrusy smells, curiously circling back to her mother’s blooming garden.
When asked which Mmoire fragrance fits this chapter of her life, she smiles:
“Sur Arize. It has that fresh warmth, a new thing you are about to embark on, but still keeping your old self in that sense with those woody and mossy notes.”
Her favorite everyday aroma? The scent of her boyfriend, another astute perfume enjoyer. Or the aroma of laundry fresh out of the washing machine. I then asked Milou which scent would she like her daughter to associate her childhood with? She responded,
“I would like my daughter to grow up with a warm kind of scent, so that's sandalwood, pumpkin. I like to fill the house with that scent, because I think that's a more cozy and home feeling. I hope that I can bring her a lot of happiness with flower scent, I think I will pass that on.”
All in all, we learn from Milou’s experience of motherhood that it is a journey, and a natural one of that. Motherhood, being a mother, being a daughter, being a grandmother, being a woman, being human… It’s all part of this adventure we call life.
One last quote:
“Motherhood is something that grows on you, and that's also how I experience it. A good metaphor for it would be growing a garden, and it's something you work towards, and it's very beautiful.”
